Syndicate

Wish you would, loserWow, this Ryan Simkin, former Girls Gone Wild employee, must really, really hate Joe Francis' guts. Not that anybody actually likes the little f**ktard, but Simkin takes it to new heights - and he does it in legal papers filed today in LA.

The lawsuit is actually being brought against Francis by 4th Street Media, who is trying to publish Ryan's allegedly explosive tell-all about life in Joe the Jizz Queen's tawdry "empire". Francis is doing his best to quash publication of "FLASH! Bars, Boobs, and Busted: 5 Years on the Road with Girls Gone Wild." I find it somewhat ironic that the slimy piece of shit who became a millionaire feeding drugs and alcohol to underage girls, talking them out of their clothes and then filming it would take offense, but whatever. How quickly things change when the exploiter becomes the exploited.

Yeah, I'd hit that. Hell, I'd SPLIT thatSee? I just knew Uncle Jesse wasn't that kind of guy. All you haters can go pick on a real sex offender, like Jeffrey Epstein. John Stamos may have made the mistake of befriending a much younger girl after a painful separation, but it never went anywhere. Until, that is, the young girl hooked up with an enterprising young entrepreneurial type who saw easy money.

Today the two nimrods from Michigan who tried to extort $680,000 out of Stamos were convicted of conspiracy and "using email to threaten a person's reputation". That's the oddest way to say "blackmail" I've ever heard, but whatever. This couple first contacted John to say that the girl was pregnant. When that didn't stir Stamos to action they upped the ante, saying they had pictures of him snorting coke and making sexy times with the girl and were going to sell them to the tabloids. Prosecutors were unable to prove the existence of any pictures, but the threat was made, and the judge wasted no time in convicting them.

Maybe now that he's able to put all this mess behind him John can finally find that wife he's looking for. He really does seem like a nice guy, and he's certainly not hard on the eyes. I'm not sure about that bellybutton, though.

Blohan got a gunThis is beyond disturbing. This is beyond a cry for help. This is a hopelessly lost, hopelessly strung out train wreck, in constant turmoil but taking a long-ass time to hit the ground. It's getting like a really bad soap opera - of absolutely no entertainment value anymore but you gotta see how it ends. It ain't lookin' good.

As the parent of a child who struggled with many of the same issues that Lindsay is denying she has, I can say that this picture made my blood run cold. Lindsay is a known cutter. People who cut and do drugs do it to relieve stress - it's a form of escape from the things you can't deal with. And the more street drugs they do, the worse their disorder becomes. If Lindsay is playing with guns, her life could be in danger. Her idiot parents need to stop talking to the press and f**king do something to save their daughter. Ali, "great kid" that she is, can't help her, and shouldn't be anywhere near Lindsay. She already looks like she's getting high. Oh, I see tumultuous times coming.

Drugs? Where?When I saw this story I felt sick to my stomach. Jenna Jameson has lived a rough life - porn star, addict, perpetual victim - but she seemed like she had settled down with Tito Ortiz, the father of her twins born last year. No one's quite sure what happened yet, but the fallout is getting uglier by the minute.

It all went down sometime Monday morning, when a nasty little marital spat turned violent. Jenna admits to saying "something very hurtful to his ego" (maybe she told him his junk was tiny?); he flipped out and tossed her into the tub, injuring her arm. She called the cops and he was arrested. Tito denies ever laying a hand on Jenna, and claims she hurt herself because she was all f**ked up on OxyContin. Niiiice.

Since the incident Jenna has been flip-flopping in her statements to the press: Tito didn't beat her; he did beat her; he's lying to save his own ass (he could lose his MMA ultimate fighting gig if the domestic violence charges aren't dropped). Sounds like Jenna needs to get away for a while and get her head on straight. Even if there are no beatings or drugs involved, it doesn't sound like a good place to raise two little babies.

You can't blame me. I'm dead.This guy's got some f**king nerve. He was paid well to be Michael's personal physician. That meant he was supposed to keep him healthy. Instead, he let him live on Coca-Cola, and he left his hopelessly addicted ass alone in a room full of lethally potent medications. And he wants us to believe it wasn't his fault that his patient died?

The latest scoop on the legal strategy of Dr. Conrad Murray's lawyers is that they're going to play the rape game: They're going to blame the victim for his own demise. They will claim that Michael injected himself with another dose of Propofol on top of the one the doctor gave him when the doc left the room to take a call from his girlfriend. When Murray returned to the room he found the pop star unresponsive, eyes wide open with dilated pupils. He also claims that Jackson was still alive when the EMTs took him out of the house, but this guy is such a liar, who could believe him? More importantly, if he did nothing, why did he run around hiding the Propofol when he should have been trying to resuscitate Michael?